Tuesday, December 11, 2012

FIRST IMPRESSIONS AND A CHANGE OF HEART

As so many veterans of war know, time does not always heal their hidden wounds.  That was certainly the case when a Vietnam veteran read my autobiography on my Grass Roots Troop Support webpage.   It stated that back in the 60's I was an anti-war protestor (an unfortunate stance  based on misinformation from the media) but due to 9/11 and my nephew enlisting in the Marine Corps and a new era of patriotism,  how I felt then was not how I felt after 9/11.   This former Marine read the bio and became so inflamed that he proceeded to send me a scathing email lambasting me, a total stranger, for all that he had suffered through is time in Vietnam and his maltreatment when he returned home.  He said he was speaking for all who were in his shoes, not just himself.

He wrote of his two years at war, 1967-1969, that hundreds of thousands of Americans and South Vietnamese were killed, how we at home called those veterans baby killers and worse, how we protested and spit on them upon their return home, his horrible experiences of dying friends and the sound and smell of war.   He blamed me and my friends for "not caring if they rotted over there in hell."   He wrote that we are supporting our troops today because of our guilt for our treatment of our Vietnam veterans.   He wrote that those who returned from that war vowed to make sure no other generation of warriors would suffer what they did.   He cursed me and accused me of being one of the enemy of that era.  This veteran who chose to share his long suffering anger with me, a stranger, reiterated again and again in his email that the years of pain, mental anguish, suicides were compounded by a government and VA that did not support them or understand them.  He called me names.   In closing he did thank me for caring enough to send care packages to our troops serving in Iraq.   This veteran's name was Casey and the year was 2009.

I was shaken to my core by this email....so upset that my heart was pounding.   I had never been on the receiving end of such a tirade and was unsure how to react, whether I should just delete it or respond to his fury.   I inquired of a friend, a very special friend, a Christian whom I knew would give me sound advice.   He did just that.  He suggested that I write back to Casey expressing my sadness at his continued pain and suffering, that  I realized it was misdirected and I want to help as a sister in Christ.   He was totally shocked that I responded at all!!!    I, too,  felt that reaching out was the way to go.   I asked him if we could speak on the phone.  I gave him my phone number.  It took some weeks before he called.  As we spoke I felt that Casey needed to have Jesus in his life.  I asked if he did and he told me yes, but not for many years and that my reaching out to him made him realize he needed to ask Jesus back into his life.   I thanked my friend for his advice. I thank God for giving me the opportunity to befriend  him when he was expecting retaliation or nothing at all.

Casey served with 1st Bn/9th Marines, the "Walking Dead", a unit that suffered severe losses in Vietnam.  Our phone calls increased, we became friends,  I learned more about his time at war, about  his family, about his pain.   He told me that our friendship and his relationship with the Lord finally allowed him to release much of the pain and anger he had harbored all those years.  What better gift to me then such words!   Our friendship grew over time.  We spoke frequently.

The 1/9 has a network of veterans of the Nam era.  Casey felt compelled to support my care package effort and asked his network if they would be willing to donate to the packages.  A year after our rather unusual 'meeting' I was delivered by hand a check for $1000 from one of the members who lived in Virginia.   Later that year, in the fall of 2010, I was invited to the 1/9 national reunion as a guest.   Once again I find it hard to express my feelings.   To recall how Casey and I started, to being an honored guest at their reunion is hard to put into words.   I again thank God for making all things possible.   That network has donated more than once to supporting my care packages.      Who ever would have thought at the outset where this angry email would have taken us?  Casey and I will remain friends throughout our lives.

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